WHAT WE LEARNED THIS WEEKEND: JACKSON OWUSU’S ‘COOL CHOP’, KENI AND HEARTS STILL STRONG

It was a weekend filled with lots of football and, as is its
God-given obligation, WWLTW conducts a satirical review of some
highlights

Home and abroad, football was on the menu this weekend, being served
in all forms. Here at WWLTW, though, we like it best in one particular
flavour, namely, the ‘weird’ — and, thankfully, we did have plenty of
that.

Join us feast, then!

JOSHUA ANSAH — ‘Hearts set to survive, ‘Kotoro’ misses home
Hearts of Oak have started the season in blistering form, winning
their first two games — the latest a record-breaking 2-0 away win at
Medeama with only ten men which didn’t even remotely appear fixed —
and are yet to concede.
It does seem the Phobians have really taken to ‘sushi football’ and
all is truly going well as they have definitely stolen a march on any
other teams that may wrestle them in the battle against demotion later
in the season. In fact, at this rate, Hearts could confirm their
survival by Gameweek 20, thus sparing their fans the anxiety that came
with last season’s gruelling relegation fight. Meanwhile, Kenichi
Yatsuhashi, the club’s Japanese-American head coach, finally appears
to be coming to grips with the basics of Ghanaian football and, from
what WWLTW reliably gathers, his kenkey-eating and Ga-speaking skills
are also improving by the day, making him feel more and more at home.
Given how much fun he’s having right now, Toyota may be receiving his
resignation letter anytime soon.

1.8472900
“Yeah, yeah! I know…Toyota might have just lost one of their Engineers” – Harry Zakkour

Bad Weekend
You know that feeling when you book a photographer for your wedding,
only to learn that they’ve travelled abroad for other purposes when
the big day is almost due?
Well, the Ghana Football Association felt same this weekend when their
appointed Match Commissioner for the Medeama-Hearts game, Osei Tutu
Agyemang (Kotoro), left the shores of the country a few days before
that Premier League fixture to lead an Ashantigold delegation to
Algeria in the Caf Champions League. With the battering of Ghana’s
reigning champions on aggregate by MO Bejaia juxtaposed with the
thrills in Tarkwa, though, it’s quite clear where Kotoro, in
hindsight, wishes he’d been.

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“Was that necessary, Mr. Kotoro?” – Coach Hayford

SAMMIE FRIMPONG — ‘ Owusu earns ‘injury bonus’, Hayatou back in comfort zone
If you’ve been sad for crocked Asante Kotoko midfielder Jackson Owusu
during the past few weeks over his season-crushing injury, well, don’t
be anymore. He really doesn’t need your sympathy now, only advice on
how to spend the coolest GHC2000 he’d ever earn.
Over the weekend Kotoko rewarded the remarkable professionalism of
Owusu — a quality which saw him lose his left leg in a casual
kick-about sanctioned by the Sunday Special Society (SSS) on the eve
of the 2016 league campaign — with said amount. Considering that it
might just be more than he earns in a season of football with the
Porcupine Warriors, Owusu — as well as his watching Kotoko teammates
— may just have found a way to finally make their careers yield the
fortunes they’ve always dreamed of: get a tad reckless, suffer a
little pain, play no football for the rest of the season, but still
get handsomely paid for it. Genius.

Whatever the perks of playing in Europe are, it simply doesn’t get this good!

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The Jackson Owusu we are too blinded by emotions too see at the moment 

Good Weekend
Issa Hayatou must be heaving a sigh of relief now, eh?
On Friday, he was unburdened of the 140-day ordeal which required that
he babysit world football’s governing body through its darkest
moments, after the role of Fifa’s presidency was forcibly, albeit only
temporarily, conferred on him when scandal left the Cameroonian as the
sole honest soul remaining in the organization’s hierarchy.

fifa president sleeping
“It’s been 140 days of no proper sleep. Oh how I miss you Africa!”

Following the election of another bald Swiss to the sport’s top
office, however, Hayatou can now quietly return to focusing on the job
he’s done better than most during the past three decades: ruining
African football.

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